Gold Plain
Can you critique my poem?
The perfect gold plains would stretch across the land
Kissing the gentle breeze as it passed
And as these winds curved around each strand of grass
A harmonic melody would whistle in the distance
And as this tune caressed my ear
A sense of perfection filled my head
A heaven awaits us above
But shall we not stop for the heaven that is here
A bird swoops down into the tall thick fields
Disturbing the land’s peace
However the ground does not groan
Nor does it cry with its usual rustling
It stays as it was, its flawlessness does not change
For the bird is its friend
A victim of man
All the same
Tell me what you think, what you would change and how much you would give it if you were an english teacher of a 14 year old.
I know its similar to roberts frost’s nothing gold can stay, but i assure you i had no intention on it becoming like that
Thank you so much
I don’t think it is like Robert Frost’s poem “Nothing Gold Can Stay.” I can honestly say I have no criticism for your poem. I think it is really great and am so amazed that a 14 year old can put such beautiful words together. I really enjoyed this poem. I hope you get an A+!!
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